Self employed, self respect, and the measure of success....

   
    Being self employed provides a rare and wonderful opportunity to unleash your creativity and express yourself through your work, without the constraints of a boss, co-workers, productivity demands, staff meetings, etc. It's wonderful, and I love it. However, along with the freedom, flexibility, creativity and job satisfaction comes the understanding that you are always "on the job," 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.

    When I am not working directly with clients, I am working on marketing, networking, budgeting, short term goals, long term goals, organizing lessons, classes and workshops. I am constantly taking continuing education and advanced trainings. Vacations are a distant memory. There is no such thing as sick days or paid time off. There is no benefits package. When you are self employed, you don't measure success by how much money you make. You measure it by the satisfaction it brings to you.

    Most people are impressed when I say I'm self employed. But, sometimes I get a different response. Recently a friend asked me about my business. Before I could begin she interrupted me and said, "Well, it doesn't affect you and your husband." Confused, I asked her what she meant. "You don't have to make any money. If you do, it goes right back into the business." I explained that this was my livelihood, how I earn my income, and how I contribute to the family budget. She was shocked, and said, "I didn't realize that!" Sheesh. At first I was amused. Then I was annoyed.

    A few days later, a colleague asked to meet with me, stating we needed to discuss something important. When we met, he asked me to move my practice from my office to his. I politely declined. He kept talking, explaining that he was losing business because he spent so much time out of town. He needed me to run his office, schedule new clients, and grow his business. What about my business and my clients? He told me they wouldn't mind moving. I knew they would. Besides, my office is large, bright, and beautiful. I designed it, and I have a lease. At first I was amused. Then I was annoyed. Finally, I started to worry.

    What was I doing wrong? Was I not working hard enough to present myself in a professional manner? What could I do differently? I went back to the drawing board (so to speak), which happens to be my dining room table. I poured over my mission statement, my business plan, my long term goals, my short term goals, etc. Maybe I needed professional help to evaluate my plans and my approach. Why else would two people minimize my accomplishments?

    Suddenly, I had an epiphany. I wasn't doing anything wrong; I was doing everything right. I was making all my hard work look easy and effortless. It was actually the highest form of praise I could receive. I guess that is another way that you can measure success, when no one else can see the tremendous amount of hard work and sacrifice that goes into being your own boss. Just in case you were wondering, I still love it! And no.....I'm not moving!

Be healthy!
Cheryl Ilov, PT, GCFP

What I learned on my summer vacation.

    During my three day long summer vacation I helped my niece with her summer project. (See post dated 9/19/11). This incredible experience was rich with learning opportunities. Not only for my niece, but also for myself. And my sister. What did I learn?

    First of all, never underestimate the difficulty of a 5th grader's summer project. Be careful about being too confident. Don't say to yourself, "How hard could it possibly be?" You are about to find out! Summer projects for 5th graders can be incredibly challenging, difficult and time consuming.

    Second, adult confidence can be easily shattered by a 5th grade project. When that happens, it's best to step back, take a few breaths and remember that you are the adult. If your confidence is suffering, imagine how the ten year old feels. I discovered if I treated the entire experience as an exercise in mental gymnastics, the project became more fun than work. As a bonus, neither one of us became stuck and were able to keep focused on the experience of the process, not the final goal. That helped keep my stress levels under control. I can't speak for my niece, but if my stress levels were low, I'm guessing hers were as well. Consequently, if I started to panic, I'm betting she would, too.

    Third, find a way to create an environment of support.  Ask questions, initiate open ended discussions, share ideas, but keep your personal biases to yourself. This gives your child the space and freedom to allow their creative energy to flow. It might be tempting to take over and do most of the project yourself, or superimpose your own ideas. But, where's the sport in that? And what does the child learn from that experience?

    Fourth, you can't allow exhaustion and the looming deadline to get the best of you. Stop. Take a break, take a walk, use your eye drops, but keep thinking and talking about the project. Once you unleash the creative genius in a ten year old, there's no stopping her. Her creativity and her energy are limitless. I also discovered how supportive an eight year old brother can be when his sister is faced with a difficult task. I always knew my nephew was exceptional, but his patience, maturity and support as my niece and I spent hours working at the dining room table was very touching.

    Fifth, I learned how much fun it is to read the same book as a ten year old and talk about it together. I also discovered that nothing is impossible when you work together as a team.

    Finally, I learned that I will ask ahead of time if any projects are on the agenda are so I can read the book in advance.

     My sister learned that when her children are entering a new school, the "Welcome Package" isn't always 100% complete. Sometimes a small bit of information may be missing, like the fact that her child has 2 mandatory projects over the summer. She learned that her sister rocks, but she already knew that! Oh, and she also learned how to duck when a golf ball comes flying at her. But that's another story. I'm just glad she has quick reflexes.

    The truth is, we encounter rich and rewarding learning opportunities every day of our lives. We can ignore them, grumble about them, or refuse to participate in them. We need to recognize these opportunities, honor them, revel in them, and make each one count. We may be surprised by what we learn!

Be healthy!
Cheryl Ilov, PT, GCFP